Nicole vs. Life
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
