Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
