So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
