She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
