the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
