dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
