**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
