So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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