Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
