i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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