what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
