i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
