i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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