During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.