even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
you never un-have a 4some
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.