she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
