i don't like sucking hair
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
