Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
