it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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