mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
