just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
