watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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