Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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