What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
