she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
