I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
