i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
