Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
