I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
