You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.