youre lurking in front of me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
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I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.