After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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