Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.

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(703): View more from Virginia

At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(205): View more from Alabama

You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.

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(631): View more from New York

Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.

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(563): View more from Iowa

You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.

(1-563): View more from Iowa

That's some kind of record drunk there...

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