I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
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I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.