You made me cry and you don't even care
a bad idea.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
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We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?