how hairy? two words: wookie tits
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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