you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
that's an acceptable place to lick
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
