Don't you send me to vm
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
how drunk are you?
Several
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
