His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
