yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
