He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
