i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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