I heard we made out
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
