so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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