I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
