That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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