She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
