Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
