do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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