what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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