We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
