erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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