god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize