I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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