Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
