I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
