it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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