You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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