It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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