NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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