We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
