dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
