For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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