look no pants
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
