Moan for me like Helen Keller
In America we eat man semen.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
