She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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