i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
