the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
