Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
