at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
