I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
we should paint friendship bongs
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