i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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