I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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